Dykes, Pirates and Parades, Oh My!

San Francisco, our lady by the sea…..or something like that. I spent the weekend in San Francisco to join in a whole queer and kinky smorgasbord of events. As many of you know, it was Pride weekend in San Francisco—which is like Christmas and the Fourth of July and Valentine’s Day all wrapped up together with a rainbow bow.



The first big event got down and dirty Friday night—In Bed with Fairy Butch. And let me just say—I will be sharing no photos of this show with you because there were bountiful breasts, naked and dancing everywhere! No photographs were allowed!

I have to tell you, I am a bit of an idealist sap when it comes to witnessing real self-acceptance, self esteem, and healthy, joyous sexuality on display. This show was the best example of that I have seen in a long time. There were big curvy girls stripping down to their g-strings and throwing themselves in the audience like an orgiastic mosh-pitt. There were F to M trannies dancing and showing off their post-op scars. A bar full of screaming lusty women throwing dollar bills at the stage can’t be wrong. The host, Fairy Butch, has a great book the Stockroom carries, The Ultimate Guide to Strap-on Sex:

I also got to witness the hot new phenomena, Lesbian Speed Dating. No, silly, this does not involve mind altering drugs! It’s the hottest new dating game phenomena. About twenty gals lined up, ten on each side facing each other, and played a sort of musical chairs—each pair getting about ten minutes a piece to get to know each other. I wonder what lust and romance was sparked??? Anyone out there ever tried this? Any good stories? Do tell.

Saturday, after a lovely stroll in the Castro and a visit to the coolest beat poet bookstore, City Lights Bookstore, founded by poet/writer Laurence Ferlinghetti, I found my way to Dolores Park in the Mission for the Dyke march—notably the largest Dyke March in the World.



I have never seen so many lesbians in one place in my whole little life! I was truly impressed.

Then I had the pleasure of witnessing Beach Blanket Babylon—a musical revue that has been an SF staple for over thirty years. For a femme like me—oh the costumes! The giant hats! The voices that blew me out of the water!—I highly recommend it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it lasts another 30 years.

Then on to the Pirates!!!! I had a blast dressing up as a swarthy pirate:



Kinky Salon lived up to its rep as a great party host. The place was all dolled up in Sea-worthy attire, and there was a wheel of danger that involved finding the pirate’s buried treasure (if you catch my drift!) and a floor show with….stripper pirates! I am not sure if there were ever such shows as the gals walked the plank on the seven seas back in the day….but we sure got a treat! Burlesque is alive and well in San Francisco. And she’s wearing an eye patch! AAAAaaaarrrrgh! This was a pansexual event—as are all Kinky Salon events—and all sorts of clever male and female pirates (and a ninja…..I don’t know why) frolicked and cavorted the night away.

The next morning was the big Pride Parade—there were a good 750,000 in attendance. Huge! The parade lasted for a good many hours, and everyone was in rainbow-brite, sparkly spirits. The omni-present Midori, author of Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink, led the parade with the dykes on bikes. Oh the roar of some 300 engines was a … gas!



Other highlights: The leather and kink community is alive and well in SF. Every imaginable organization was marching proud. I loved the balloon guys and their porcupine-like head dresses



and the Polynesian hula dancer float—the moves were so lovely and hypnotic. (Insert hula photo).



Can you believe I did this all in 2 and a half days? Oy. I need a vacation from my vacation. Thanks, San Francisco!