Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Music as the Mood Maker

There is nothing like the right music to really heighten—or frighten—sexual adventures. It's like a bad haircut if you get it wrong. I have no patience for a bad haircut. Not an accidental bad haircut, just a bad haircut. Momma cut your hair using a bowl kind of haircut.

Of course, you can stay on the safe side if you just don't play any music at all. Sure, the sounds of cooing, the swish and crack of the whip, or whatever you have lined up for the evening, may provide enough "music" to satisfy, but it's always good to mix it up a little with some tunes.

And if you are the type who likes to set the stage—create the mood—then music is key.

One of my favorite times to use music as inspiration is when I'm getting all gussied up. Allow me to set the stage: It's a Saturday, and maybe I just spent the last couple of afternoon hours relaxing on the couch in slouchy casual wear. I'm talking about slippers, sweaters—comfort wear. I look at my watch and I realize once again that I've lost track of time and only have an hour to get my tushy off the sofa, get my ass in gear, and put together a hot outfit for the sexy evening event.

How in the world do I go from my napping-couch-kitten state to Sex Kitten? Put the needle on the record! My brain needs rattling and the music needs to be sexy to get me inspired and turned on enough to get that make-up on and slide on the stockings and the shoes and put some sass in my step.

Now, everyone's taste is different and it's all very cultural and generational and so on, so I do not expect you, all you dear readers, and I, to have matching tastes in music. But I think there are a few guidelines that may be applied to all sorts of occasions:
  1. Does your sexual adventure involve a public space? Go with the flow. Pick music that will not clash with the hearts, minds, and intentions of the event. Case in point: Two years ago I attended BondCon in Las Vegas. The convention was held at a large, echo-filled hall off the strip, and the place was crawling with latex-clad lovelies, prancing pony players, and black leather. Yes, it was a market, and held during the day, but does that excuse the Beach Boys and Christina Aguilera that were blaring over the loudspeaker? Do doms flogging high-heeled nymphettes really go with Michael Bolton? C'mon now...! Who was to blame for this atrocity? There ought to be a law!
  2. If you are in seduction mode or top-mode and want to set the scene and are bringing home a playmate for the first time, it might behoove you to try and figure out what music your playmate likes. It's a listening exercise. It's a test, really. I was brought home one evening and the seductor made the big mistake of playing Eminem. Oh no, honey. I got the immediate female equivalent of limp dick. I can't stand that guy's music. No thanks. Of course, another time a "suitor" surprised me with some delicious and passionate opera! Oh yeah, baby, that's what I'm talking about!
  3. Have some afterglow music planned, if you really want to impress. One night, close to dawn, my eyes were closing and I was drifting off into the sweet afterglow abyss, and for the first time I heard the Cowboy Junkie's Trinity Session album. It was incredible. That album sounds like the dawn. Perfect. That sweet moment will stay in my head forever.

What's your favorite seducing music? Screwing music? Afterglow music? Any humorous music disaster stories?


At 7/11/2005 5:19 PM, bella said...

don't play any music at all???

these are my favorites:

(1) the <smack> <squelch> <sputter> of your favorite (now sticky) dildo slipping in and out, when you're too *close* to stop and reapply the astroglide

(2) in all your rowdiness, the bed scooted all the way over to the wall you share with your neighbor—the one through which you hear all his baseball games—and you're now sharing your <clunk> <clunk> <clunk> with him. again, too *close* to stop, you cringe, waiting for him to knock back like he did that night you were using your power tools way too late.

(3) you—and your delicious, rambunctious young sex kitten—become increasingly awkward as you listen to the <creak> <pop> <crunch> of your aging bones insisting you're too old for all this tumbling about in bed

At 7/11/2005 5:23 PM, jmf said...

does anyone remember that scene in Jerry Maguire where Jerry (Tom Cruise) and Dorothy (Renée Zellweger) are about to have sex for the first time (you know, after the porch scene, when Chad the nanny gives Jerry the Jazz cassette and says "use this!") ... and partway through the whole thing, they burst into laughter and turn it off? that's the first thing that came to my mind!!!


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