Understand Me, Make Me Laugh
Last Friday I partook of an all day workshop on temperament typing, using the book Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey. Now, I am a people person, so I found this study of human behavior to be a lovely tool for finding compassion and learning to walk a mile in someone else's stilletto's. Or Jack Boots. Fleuvogs maybe. You get the idea. I can see this as another worthy angle for thinking about getting sensually involved with someone.
If you are looking for a psychological book more specifically geared towards kinkiness, I recommend Slavecraft by Guy Baldwin.
There were some great kinky jokes batted about at Outlaugh, the first ever gay and lesbian comedy festival. The festival took place in Santa Monica in a great space called Highways. Hosted by the Gay Mafia. The whole festival was filmed, so keep a look out for it on one of the more hip cable stations, like Bravo, or HBO.