Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Folsom Street Fair 2005

Folsom Street Fair was another sunny, Bacchanalian sort of day in San Francisco. I tagged along with the Stockroom crew and their fabulous booth. Kenneth, Chris, Linda and Bryon were a tireless, fun-loving team.

As I like to say, "Mother nature Loves the Gays," and it couldn't have been more true this year. It was pleasantly warm and bright. Warm enough for the assless chaps bearers to not "shrink", but not so hot that fair goers cooked in their leather.

Midori (above) stole the show when she stopped traffic with her rope suspension. The gal who volunteered to be tied up started as a Dorothy Gale - sort of apple-cheeked gal wearing gingham. By the time Midori was done with her, she was wearing a face harness, her curvy body all bound and bared and suspended for the pervy crowd!

Of course, Midori was a vision in five inch metal spikes jutting out of her g-string, horns, and cat-eyes. Wild!

There were plenty of leather daddies there. We had a couple gleefully bound into our booth, with the guy's caged cock proudly displayed in gleaming chrome! He asked for business cards to give out because everyone was asking where he got it! Glad to be of service.

I was amazed by how many non-leather daddies were there. From past events, I was so used to looking out into a sea of black leather. I guess that is now the scene specifically for the more hardcore Dore Alley. Folsom has slowly morphed into much more of a pansexual event. I saw so many more male/female couples, lesbian couples, and scrubbed clean "brand new t-shirt" type gay boys.

The gals bought up the few girly items we took to sell at the booth. I guess we will have to supply them with more next year.

All in all, spirits were up, there were plenty of colorful outfits and pervy sensibilities. It truly felt like a naughty celebration. And everyone felt at home and welcome.

It was a short trip for me, but I did get to experience a couple more notable events:

Thanks to the suave, sophisticated pal Byron, a group of us got much sought after reservations to the hot new restaurant in the Mission called the Range. The souffle melted in my mouth, and the halibut was divine!

I also caught two acts at the Lexington's burlesque show and Uniform party. Those gals knew how to shake it!

Other tidbits:

Midori's Secrets of Japanese tentacle sex secrets revealed! I remember taking a peek at that famous naughty drawing of the lady with the octopus long ago that filled me with awe, wonder, and excitement. Midori breaks down the tentacle sex phenomenon.

Who else loves the nerdy, in the closeted character Tobias from that pee in your pants funny TV show Arrested Development?

Friday, September 23, 2005

Folsom Street Fair 2005

To San Francisco

The office has been a buzz with activity in preparation for the grandaddy of outdoor leather events, the legendary Folsom St. Fair. I remember my first Folsom St. fair, long before I worked at the Stockroom. I was visiting a close college friend who lived in the SoMa area. (That's South of Market to you non-west coast types) We got all dolled up in black leather/rubber and green wigs and strolled the fair. My friend is a astonishingly gorgeous and creative type who funds her oil paints by dancing at the Lusty Lady. We had a great time dancing and shopping amidst the hyper-testosterone.

The fair was my first taste of a vision I would end up witnessing again and again- the tribal sea of leathermen. Sprinkled with a few colorful lesbians and bi/trans/straight adventurers. Since then, the fair has diversified a bit, but the leathermen still rule. As it should be.

If you are in the area, the Stockroom booth is #749. Midori will make an appearance and tie some hunk up and sign some books. I am getting my outfit together tonight! Should I go colorful player or dark and brooding? Hmmmmmmm..........

Some other tasty tidbits:
The Erotic Museum has a lubed up play pen they call the toybox . There is a great video clip of the nasty dildo action.

Midori will be at A Different Light Bookstore this Thursday at 7pm doing a book signing, then, from 9pm to midnight, She'll be taking over the entire elegant jewelry store of Gallery Flux, creating a "sensual blend of flesh, rope, bamboo, metal and jewels. This will be created specifically to be viewed from the street." Cool, huh?

Tuesday, October 4th for's Baadmaster's Dungeon Show from 6-7pm, I will be on the radio! Expect hijinks.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Midori's Kinky Salon

I attended a fantastic book reading for Wild Side Sex: the Book of Kink that turned into a full-on Kinky Salon last Saturday night at A Different Light Bookstore in West Hollywood. Lots of kink-world celebrities showed up. Midori, who has a great talent for taking the temperature of a room and drawing upon possibilities, asked everyone to turn their chairs in a circle and make it an interactive experience, with Midori at the helm as facilitator and sharer of dirty stories.

We had a great posse of photographers there—the great Steve Diet Goedde, Victor, and Michele Serchuk. Midori, being a photographer herself, loved steering the discussion towards issues of the day: fetish image in photography, being pigeon-holed as a fetish photographer, etc. Some beautiful models attended as well—Seven and Baby Doll spiced up the evening!

Leslie and Karen, the founders of Double G magazine lit up the night, and Aly from the radio show AVN Online brought us back to the erotic pleasure of creme brulee. Yummy.

The crowd took the party to a delicious night spot called Tango and porn star Nina Hartley and director Ernest Greene kept the crowd tantalized into the night.

One of my absolute favorite pleasures in life is when naughty sexy fun mixes with brash intellectualism. This was one of those nights, and I thank all who lent their talents toward such a salon.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

I love brave researchers who dare to investigate what others have ignored—namely in paying attention to women's sexuality. A priceless researcher, Susan Lydon, is honored in the Guardian for her ground breaking work regarding the Female Orgasm.

In the very brave city of New Orleans, while living with the aftermath of the worst natural disaster in US history, a small party of 24 had a gay pride celebration called Southern Decadence.

I applaud the Mayor Nagin for his outspoken words.

That's it for today. That's what's on my mind. Much love to you all.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Magazine Culture

Hello, My name is Lucky Lana and I am a Magazine-aholic. That's right. If there is a colorful, flashy magazine in the room, it doesn't matter what else is going on or who is speaking or flirting or what not. My eye will be drawn to that magazine and I will not be satisfied until I get my fix! Let me open it and look at its glossy pages!

I could have a dreary appointment for the dentist or the doctor, but if I know their waiting room carries some good mags, I'm set. Like a infant with a colorful new toy, you can let me sit in that waiting room for hours and I'll be perfectly content.

Even when I was a gawky little grade school kid and didn't know what half the words meant, I would have my little nose stuck in a magazine while my sister and friends where watching Name That Tune on Channel 5. My babysitter would look at me funny when she caught me reading her Ladies Home Journal.


I have both vapid, shallow reasons and deep, political, inspirational reasons for celebrating magazines today. Let's take a popular and glamorous rag like Skin Two, for example:

Skin Two is a London-based magazine that prides itself on high quality, colorful images of the hot sexy models in the latest latex and leather fashions. Yummy! Like a crow, I am drawn to all that is shiny. I love to look at the curvy bodies and the elaborate designs. I find the images arousing and playful and naughty and delicious. So on a primal level, I am fed.

Culturally, it feels empowering to see fetish images in print. Skin Two, along with Secret, Whiplash, Instigator, Spectator, and many local publications show images and tell stories about slices of life. By the people and for the people. There is something solid and affirming about seeing a reflection of my culture on a solid page.

Then there are the cool punk girly mags like Bitch (!!!) and Bust and Diva. And random clever mags like Found and Paper. I just got asked to write for a new Los Angeles based girl mag called Double G. (I'll keep you posted on that one!)

Then there is the immediacy of a good magazine. Unlike a book, a magazine reports what's happening on a constantly new basis. If there is a trend, a magazine is where I look for it. If there is a new school of thought or an evolving idea, or a controversy to tackle, I may find out about it there.

Now, the generation just behind me who grew up with computers may see no need for the printed page someday. Why buy a magazine when everything is documented hourly on a website somewhere? I love the internet and all the blogs ;) and crazy websites that have addressed every little slice of life one can imagine, but it's apples and oranges to me. I love cyberspace revolution, but nothing can replace my magazines!

The prestige of a well-established magazine weeds out all the bad writers and crackpots for me. There is something to be said for competition and command of language. And what feels more relaxing than taking a couple of hours out my afternoon to paint my toenails, and lay back on my couch and read a good mag cover to cover?

What are your favorite magazines? Was there a magazine that spoke to you when you hadn't found your people yet and you were stuck in a small hick town? What magazine do you wish existed that doesn't yet? Inquiring minds want to know.

Monday, September 05, 2005

For Opera Lovers,

I found this silly jerk-off gem on Wikipedia. I would love to see a whole serious opera chorus sing this version!

(sing to the tune of "Funiculì, funiculà"):

Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,
But stayed up late, to masturbate.
Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but
I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.
You should see me working on the short strokes,
It's really grand, I use my hand;
You should see me working on the long strokes,
It's really neat, I use my feet.
Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,
Isn't life divine,
Funiculì, funiculà.

Friday, September 02, 2005

History of Masturbation

Hey everybody,

First off, my heart goes out to all those who have been affected by Hurricane Katrina. I had the pleasure of visiting New Orleans for the first time last year, and I instantly fell in love with the city. I sure hope that magical place can get back on its feet soon.

I am having a lovely time doing some preliminary research for a future Erotic Museum exhibit called the History of Masturbation. I thought it would be a kick to share here a portion the lovely bits of information I have found:
Before the Dawn of Man there has been masturbation. As one scientist put it, all animals masturbate that are physically capable. Porcupines rub against a stick. Bonobos, who share 98% of our DNA, masturbate. Archeologists have interpreted some cave paintings as depictions of masturbation. Self-pleasure has been around much longer than the oldest profession, the sanctity of marriage, and Hustler Magazine combined.

In Ancient Times, depictions of male masturbation are relatively common. The Egyptians, for example, celebrated masturbation as the process by which the sun god, Atum, created the first Adam and Eve equivalents, Shu and Tefnut. "With the hand of God, Atum masturbated and brought forth the first pair of souls." A clay figurine of the 4th millennium B.C. from a temple site called Hagar Qim on the island of Malta, depicts a woman masturbating.

The Sumerians, who invented the first written Western language, make reference to the Mesopotamian god Enki masturbating, his ejaculation filling the Tigris River with flowing water.

The ancient Greeks had a more natural attitude toward masturbation, regarding the act as a normal and healthy substitute for other forms of sexual pleasure. They considered masturbation a safety valve against destructive sexual frustration. The Greeks also dealt with female masturbation in both their art and writings. Greek women were often depicted using dildos or artificial phalluses made of leather, wood, or ivory for self-satisfaction.

With the Growing influence of the Christian Church, masturbation began to suffer a serious stigma. In the Judeo-Christian tradition prevalent throughout Western society, the main Scripture quoted by Christians to denounce masturbation is Genesis 38. In biblical times, under Jewish law, a brother was required to procreate with his brother's widow. Onan of Judah refused, and "spilled his seed" (i.e. ejaculated), on the ground instead. This is the origin of the term Onanism (The Sin of Onan) which is incorrectly used in place of masturbation—in fact, what really happened was premature withdrawal (i.e. coitus interruptus).

In the 20th Century, the medical community started to question the validity of linking the act of masturbation with psychiatric and medical illnesses.

Beginning with the Kinsey Report of 1948, masturbation was demystified and even discovered to be beneficial. In 1966, Masters & Johnson revealed the practice to be virtually universal in North America, cutting across all boundaries of sex, age, race, and social class. In 1971 Goldstein, Haeberle & McBride determined masturbation to be the most common form of sexual activity among humans.

Despite almost universal backing by modern medical and psychiatric communities, the actual practice and discussion of masturbation continues to be a social taboo within most societies. Former Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was immediately dismissed by President Clinton in 1994 after she stated that masturbation "is something that is part of human sexuality and something that perhaps should be taught."

Masturbation continues to be a hot button issue, and, when not condemned by the Christian Right, is often addressed publicly by the liberal, sex-positive members of music, art and activist circles. Activists/Artists such as Annie Sprinkle, Betty Dodsen and Susie Bright have been tireless activists for all sorts of sexual expression, including masturbation. Sex experts like Dr. Ruth and Sue Johansen have found more mainstream ways to advocate masturbation as healthy sexual expression. There are plenty of masturbation-friendly sex-advice columns in mainstream city weekly papers, such as Dan Savage's syndicated column, Savage Love.

Musicians like Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Prince, and the Devinyls had hit singles that addressed self-pleasure, and movies such as American Pie and Adaptation have shown masturbation in a human, ordinary light. Masturbation has been talked about on hit TV Shows such as Sex in the City, and is often discussed in mainstream magazines such as Self.

Vibrators have come a long way in the past century; a slew of new, pretty, humorous, and fancifully expensive vibrators have dominated the market. Many female-friendly sex-toy stores that feature vibrators have opened successfully all over the world, and online sex-toy stores have grown by leaps and bounds and offer endless varieties of masturbation-oriented toys for every taste and have made sex toy shopping available internationally. There is a National Masturbation Month and May 7th is Masturbation Day (don’t hold your breath hoping it will soon become a paid day off!).