Monday, August 29, 2005

Burlesque Revival

I was in the airport recently flipping through magazines while waiting for my flight, when I came across the über-glamorous Dita Von Teese in a spread in Vanity Fair. Good for her! Crowned "the queen of the new burlesque renaissance", Miss Von Teese is the face of the Burlesque Revival that has, quite literally, been sweeping the nation, two pasties at a time. And of course, her engagement to Marilyn Manson has been newsworthy as well. Who can get me an invitation to that wedding? Is it still happening? I want to sit next to her new stuffed swans.

Nothing celebrates fetish like a sexy little burlesque show. I know for me, ever since I was a girl, the smiles and unapologetic sexuality and nudity of the old burlesque icons like Bettie Page and the photography of Bunny Yeager turned me on so much more than the woesome, blank stares and snarls of the modern stripper and porn star. The pin up gals and burlesque *stars of old* looked like they were having ...... dare I say it ? ...... fun! The smiles of these gals matched the smiles of the dancers in a Rita Hayworth film. And the outfits! Oh how I love the retro outfits. I applaud Dita for following what she loves and making a name for herself. And I applaud all the 2005 burlesque dancers all over the world for slipping on their finest garters and entertaining us with their curve-loving moves. Oh hell, buy your own pasties, garter stockings and lingerie! Pin up girl outfits! DIY all you trannies and femmes!

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Jury Duty

I had my first experience with Jury Duty yesterday. That means most of the day I got to sit in a holding pen with 100 other good citizens and wait to see if the powers that be will assign me to a jury. I came really close to being assigned a case, but at the last minute, the case settled out of court! I have to admit that there was a big part of me that was very interested in serving on a jury; I wanted to help decide someone's fate, and lead a case to justice. I guess that's what role playing is for! Anyone out there ever play sexy judge and defendant? What is underneath that robe, your honor? Oh the harm that can be caused by a gavel......

Speaking of role playing, I came across a wickedly funny cartoon strip made in Midori's honor.

And while we are on the subject of comics, the brilliant artist Carol Lay, whose strip runs in the LA Weekly, stopped by the Stockroom today and dropped off some of her hilariously sexy Laundry Day t-shirts. Her comic is so witty and insightful. She told me a couple pages of her comics are going to show up in a comic collection in the new Ramones CD box set, Weird Tales. She wins a lot of hip points for that one.

I adore the more fetish-oriented comic strips—my absolute favorite was the conspiracy theory-laden The Invisibles by Grant Morrison. I remember thinking to myself, is it okay to be this attracted to comic book characters? It's only pen and ink, but yowsa! I swear the single best comic I ever read came from that series, as an origin story about the character Lord Fanny, called Apocalipstick. What a mind bender.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Erotic Museum

I took a trip to the Erotic Museum today in Hollywood. What a great resource. What a great place to venture into right off of the Walk of Fame—as it says on their website—between Disney and Liberace. The newest exhibit is The Folk Show: it's naughty folk craft. I was pleased as punch to find one of my friend's work featured there, Greg Der Ananian and his Dirty Pillows. Funny and brilliant work. If you ever have a hankering for a cross-stitched pillow that says Cock Sucker on it, he's got it for you.

For all those shiny healthy types who read Self Magazine, check out the article in this September's issue: Pssst! What Every Sexually Smart Woman Knows: take charge of your satisfaction with a new breed of vibrators. The article features quotes by the Stockroom's very own marketing/publishing gal, Linda Santiman and the Erotic Museum's Curator, Eric Singley.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Go Out and Play

For all those who made it to Bar Sinister last Saturday night, I salute you! I would like to thank Marina for being such a gracious host, and creating a great play space upstairs and booth for Steve Diet Goedde's goodies. I got to talk to a number of admirers of Steve's work. The postcards and DVDs were a big hit. It was a kick helping Steve manage the booth while he signed autographs, and dance to the best classic goth music in L.A. Long live the music of The Cure, Nine Inch Nails, and Bauhaus. I always feel a chipper sixteen years old again when I listen to those tunes.

This Wednesday is the movie premiere of Margaret Cho's latest hit, Assassin, debuting at The Egyptian Theater through the Outfest Wednesdays all year festival. The ever brash and brilliant Cho will be there to kick it off. I'll be there laughing my ass off, to be sure!

For those who love to cavort in the sun in a kink-friendly atmosphere, LA's Sunset Junction is happening this weekend. Where else can you flirt with leathermen, stroll the street with cute punk moms and their babies, dance to incredible bands, and buy various meat products on a stick? Well, there are a number of places, but this festival is not one to miss. I am looking forward to the New York Dolls and the Suicide Girls.

Friday, August 19, 2005

From Seattle to Purgatory

I just came back from an adventure in the Emerald City. Seattle. Jet City. It's a paradise in August.

That's me in the parasail with my gal pal swinging above Elliot Bay with the Seattle skyline in the background. The parasail captain strapped us up in a swing-like contraption and made a joke about buying the strap-on from a sex shop. Little did he know! It was incredible. Talk about fear and endorphins rushing through my body. I loved the rush. The late brilliant author and San Francisco leatherman Geoff Mains first talked about the link between fear/pain/pleasure and endorphins in the seminal book, Urban Aboriginals. It all made sense to me up there blowing in the breezes high above the Puget Sound.

While in Seattle I saw a hilarious spoof of Footloose at Re-bar, complete with a drag version of Lori Singer's character riding the tractors. The comedy group who put it on is called the Brown Derby, and they are spoofing various 80's dance movies all summer. Be on the lookout for hilarious comedienne Kim Nyhous in Flashdance! She's a Maniac!

Join Steve Diet Goedde and I in Purgatory at Hollywood's famous Goth club, Bar Sinister this Saturday. Steve will be signing and selling his new DVD, Living Through Steve Diet Goedde. Bar Sinister is down the candle-lit alley @ 1652 N. Cherokee Ave (next door 2 the famous steve boardner's) in Hollywood, CA just south of Hollywood Blvd and three blocks east of Highland. 10pm until the bar closes.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Fortune Cookie

I got Vietnamese take-out from Pho Cafe for lunch today, opened the fortune cookie, and read, "Don't let doubt and suspicion bar your progress." Ooooohhh. That's pretty heavy for a fortune cookie.

Doubt and suspicion is cancerous to bravery. And it takes bravery to progress. It takes bravery to name your sexuality. To come "out" as anything but vanilla in this society can be scary. You may be punished (and I don't mean in the good way).

Who do we trust? This is a very important question when it comes to sensual delights and kinky pleasures. What will it take for the housewife of fifteen years to tell her husband she wants to tie him up and spank him? How will he react? Or the seventeen year old high school quarterback who wants to profess his love to the male student body president?

The housewife may lose her husband. The quaterback may be shunned by his peers. Or gay bashed.

Or it may be the most beautiful awakening.

Margaret Cho, in I'm the One that I Want, talked about some of the heartfelt letters she got from midwestern, lonely closeted boys. She encouraged them to find their peers, and move to a city where they can be out and happy. Margaret expressed that she wanted to let the boys know it doesn't have to be so bad: (paraphrase) "Honey, come to West Hollywood and I'll take you out to Koo Koo Roo!"

Annie Sprinkle talked about not being afraid to ask for what you want sexually. After all, what if you got it? What if that wish came true?

None of this is breaking news. But I know that I need to hear it. I needed to read that fortune cookie today. Amazing things happen to people every day who take risks and have faith in a positive outcome. These events rarely make the headlines. So I am here to say it. "Don't let doubt and suspicion bar your progress." Take a chance. Make a stand. Follow your bliss.

In celebration of the fortune cookie, how about some fortunes that got rejected? A great one listed: "The only thing you will feel will be the cold catheter." Wow!

And weird fortunes here.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Lazy Kink

I swear, it's hot here at the office, and everyone I talk to is feeling LAZY. Slothlike. And it got me thinking, what can a kinkster do for fun when they are feeling lazy?

Now—don't get me wrong, the following toys and ideas can be used in ways that are far from lazy and are quite fevered and passionate and explosive, but they can also be enjoyed if you are in the middle of a deliciously indulgent and lazy day:

A wonderful Old Guard leatherguy I know was talking to me one day about the joys of the E-stim Units. Like TENS units. He's been in the scene for decades. As he put it, he's old, he's done it all, and he's a sadist who wants to torture his sub. With a TENS unit, he can hook up his sub, and press all sorts of dials and cause his sub to squirm and moan while he sits back like a king. A perfect toy for the fortunate lazy person in power.

Of course, there are fucking machines, so one person can watch the show while the other one rides it.

There are videos, audio sex talking CDs, vibrators, etc.

You can make your sub/slave do all the work.

You can fall asleep and dream, dream, dream.

Then, after a spell, if you need to get your ass and your libido in gear, how about a sexercise video: Sweet Moves: Be A Rockstar in Bed?. It's so funny and original. And great for that pelvis.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Territorial Adornment

I'm flying to Seattle tomorrow, and that got me thinking about what I like to call Territorial Adornment. One of the things I love about traveling is studying how the local environment and culture affects the way people dress. I think this certainly applies to the kink/fetish communities as well.

The ever lovable Midori, as I've mentioned in earlier blog entries, just wrote an article about dressing. She touched on the idea of making the right impression, and how some outfits may be symbolically lost in some locales. I couldn't agree more.

The most basic influences can make all the difference. Like this no brainer—the weather. Weather affects what shoes we wear. Here in Los Angeles, where it's sunny and dry, femmes walk around in the most spindly, stilleto heeled shoes. As "casual." With jeans. Or, if they are off to a fetish night at Miss Kitty's, spikey patent boots.

In Seattle, on the other hand, where it rains a lot, with lots more hills and mud puddles, bad ass boots and thick heeled, cartoonish pumps by the likes of the London designer John Fleuvog are hot hot hot. These shoes have great design, and it's easier to avoid toppling into a mud puddle!

It's funny, even though I've lived in LA for over four years, I still get described as dressing like a Seattle gal. That's right, now bring me a pair of Fleuvogs. No, really.

Since I am in shoe fetish mode, I think the absolute sexiest stockings to wear with the right pair of shoes are the cuban heeled stockings. They are so sexy I could just eat them!

And, on the topic of the wondrous shoe, Mistress Nan has an amazing shoe fetish chapter in her book, My Private Life.

Now, on to packing and figuring out how many pairs of shoes I can fit in my suitcase!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A Night of Unbelievable Proportions

Last night I had the distinct pleasure of attending the taping of the Pamela Anderson Celebrity Roast. I tell you, it was trashy Hollywood at its finest. Hosted by Comedy Central, located at the Sony Pictures Studio, I can safely say this housed the most garish, fantastically over-the top celebrities I have ever seen in one place.

Now, the taping was last night. Over four hours of taping. The whole thing will be whittled down to one hour of the finest moments and aired on Comedy Central August 14th. Who all was there?

Pamela Anderson
Courtney Love
Bea Arthur
Jeffrey Ross
Anna Nicole Smith
Lady Bunny
Jimmy Kimmel
Sara Silverman
Greg Deraldo
Adam Corrolla
Dennis Rodman
Lewis Black
Andy Dick
Lisa Lampenelli
Christopher Lloyd
Eddie Griffin
David Spade (on Video)
Hugh Hephner (on Video)
Carlos Alazraqui
Laura Krafft
Elon Gold

Favorite moments? Precious Gems? Bea Arthur, of Maude and Golden Girls, read excerpts of Pamela's latest book, Star: A Novel, totally straight faced in her famous deep voice. It was brilliant Performance Art.

Hugh Hephner had a great BDSM moment. As most of you know, Pamela is a PETA gal and huge animal rights activist. Hugh and three of his Playboy Bunnies sent in a well wishing video for the roast. One of the bunnies said, "Can we use the chains tonight?" in response Hugh addressed Pamela and said, "Pamela, I know you care about animals, so I am sorry to have to tell you that I will be hurting these bunnies!"

Of course, Courtney Love was a crazed loose cannon, throwing shoes and lifting her skirt. Andy Dick pretended to suck Tommy Lee's famous schlong and french kissed Jeffrey Ross. Geez, I feel like a writer for Us Magazine all of a sudden! Ahem......

In other news....

Midori has a fabulous new column on the Eros Zine site called Diva's Debauchery. has a lusty and delicious review of Mistress Nan's book, My Private Life.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What's in a Name?

I have been thinking about the power of names recently. I am on a yahoo chat group with Midori, and I swear one of the most entertaining parts of reading all the entries is being exposed to an endless flow of Scene Names.

Scene names remind me of Native American tribal names—they are descriptive more than they are decorative. We can all surmise from the title Yellow Corn Woman the name's symbolism, as well as Mistress Venom. Scene names also have the flavor of the military, in terms of rank. Captain Kirk. Master Nightshade. So educational.

Annie Sprinkle (a fabulous name!) has a piece in her brilliant video workshop, Sluts and Goddesses, where she invites the viewer to pick out a Slut or Goddess name. Sluts use alliteration, like....Betty Bosom, or Pussy Persuasion. Goddesses have names like Buffalo Morning or Babba Yagga.

I love the one-name wonders, like Cher, Madonna, and Midori. They convey such confidence. Who has ever had one name and was a sissy?

I have had many names for many personas in my lifetime. I love the way names can encapsulate a whole slice of life. I have names for sides of me that are sweet as a bunny, a bitchy queen, a cheerleader, a glorious nerd. Each slice a vital experience. And who wants just one slice when they can have the whole pie? Bring on the names!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Understand Me, Make Me Laugh

Last Friday I partook of an all day workshop on temperament typing, using the book Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey. Now, I am a people person, so I found this study of human behavior to be a lovely tool for finding compassion and learning to walk a mile in someone else's stilletto's. Or Jack Boots. Fleuvogs maybe. You get the idea. I can see this as another worthy angle for thinking about getting sensually involved with someone.

If you are looking for a psychological book more specifically geared towards kinkiness, I recommend Slavecraft by Guy Baldwin.

There were some great kinky jokes batted about at Outlaugh, the first ever gay and lesbian comedy festival. The festival took place in Santa Monica in a great space called Highways. Hosted by the Gay Mafia. The whole festival was filmed, so keep a look out for it on one of the more hip cable stations, like Bravo, or HBO.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Smut vs. Art

Tonight I am terribly excited to visit the Basquiat Collection at MOCA in downtown L.A. I’ve been a fan of Basquiat's art for years, saw the movie about him, and bought the book of his art used to tell a tale about fear, Life Doesn’t Frighten Me, with Maya Angelou.

It got me thinking about the whole smut vs. art dialogue. Now, Basquiat’s art wasn’t considered smutty, but it was considered street art and was heavily influenced by graffiti artists of the Big Apple. Luckily for Basquiat, he did get to experience some recognition in his lifetime. That’s not usually the case for brave, edgy artists.

A long ago artist I adore who was certainly smutty was the master of pen and ink, Aubrey Beardsley. I love the crazy, out-of-proportion phalluses on the foppish men and the shrewish society women caught in compromised positions.

It brings to mind the horrific 2257 law that is attempting to limit a lot of "smut" on the internet. My question is, what artist/photographer is being limited by this passive-aggressive law?

Who are your favorite smut artists? Or do you believe there is such a thing?